Yay! Jane's back. Yay! Yay! She went to Costa Rica with young Charlotte for a vacation wherein she, "tried to eat really healthy, so that might have something to do with my hair." 

The first thing everybody said to Jane when she came back was something to the effect of, "Oh my god! Your haaaaiiirr." It looks really full, soft, curly and shiny right now. I don't know if I've ever seen Jane's hair this curly before; I'm honestly still not totally used to it. 

But I LIKE it! And she says it's all thanks to this miracle jungle flower that her hot tour guide with MESMERIZING thick, dark hair told her to squeeze the juices out of and, "ju too, Yane, will hahve amahzing, theek, shiny hair." (She didn't say that he said that, but she told me I could write this post so I'm taking liberties.)

Back to Jane's diet, because this is funny. "So Jane, tell us what exactly it was that you ate." Madeline suggested fresh coconuts. 

"Yeah! And pineapples, and bananas--like, banana bread--and pineapple upside-down cake, and it might have actually been the macadamia nuts. They put those in the chocolate chip cookies." LOL! Jane's fresh, healthy diet consists of FRUITY BAKED GOODS. 

No, a few days of macadamia nuts sprinkled into some cookies isn't going to make your hair all bouncy-curly. It was the plant. And, of course, Jane is too spacey--her words, not mine--to remember the name. She says it looked like a mix between an agave flower and a ginger flower. A red petal-y thing with white tips. 

My theory is that it's a hybrid with some made-up name that--let's call him Hector--is harvesting to start is own multinational haircare corporation based on the natural miracle plant. OF COURSE he's going give some to Yane Pratt and also try to seduce her so that she raves all over the internet. NOT WORKING, HECTOR, SHE CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT'S CALLED. 

Question: Who's been to Costa Rica and DO you know about this miracle plant? Spark Yane's memory in the comments! 

In everybody's-losing-their-s#*! news, Beyoncé cut her hair off super-short. It's a bit borrowed-from-the-boys, a bit retro, and she's killing it, obviously. 

I'm absolutely one of those long-haired chicks that will talk about cutting her hair off (really as an opportunity just to talk about myself and how pretty my hair is, not to get anyone's opinion on the matter--yes, that's how we work), but never actually do it. I do, however LOVE the idea of short hair and attempted to recreate the side-parted, out-of-the-face look a la Queen Bey. It's basically a lot of twisting and bobby pins. 

Perhaps a video would have been better, but I will try to be specific:

1. Cut a clean, deep side part with the pointed end of a comb or a tapered makeup brush. Just drag through hair, keeping the point on the scalp. Separate the sections--you should have a perfect straight-line part. 

2. Take an appropriate (smaller than you think) amount of pomade cream, rub evenly onto your palms, and pull through the lengths of your hair, even close to the roots. This will act as a glue, helping the sections we're about to twist up stick together, control frizz, and add shine. I used blowPro's Mane Tame, and really liked how easily it distributed through my dry hair--usually this kind of stuff leaves it heavy and feeling gross. If you tend to throw your hair up a lot, or wear braids often, this is a great option. 

3. Section out a medium-to-large chunk of hair from the larger half of the part around your face. 

4. Begin twisting this section away from your face, making sure to twist back the hair closest to the scalp, rather than just the lengths. 

5. As you twist down your hairline, add more hair. Think of the hair-adding process kind of the same way as creating a French braid, just pick up more sections as you make your way around, over the ear, and down to the nape of your neck. 

6. I twisted a bit too far past the middle of my nape, but you can see how the roll looks in the back, right?

7. Pin the roll onto the scalp. Slip the pin in the underside of the roll, where it rolls into the scalp, making sure to pick up a bit of the roll and a bit of the hair that's flat against your head. If the pin doesn't slip in easily, you probably have too much hair stuffed inside of it. The style (any style, really) will hold in place better if you use more pins holding less hair in each one, than trying to stuff a bunch of hair into too few pins. 

8. Repeat the roll on the other side, you'll have a smaller section of hair to work with. 

9. Now that the sections meet in the back, you can pin and secure into a ponytail if you want. Or if your hair is the perfect shoulder-grazing length, you can let the ends fall down the nape of your neck and they'll look like an adorable Elvis-y ducktail. Since I wanted all my hair up off of my neck, I kept rolling this second, smaller section into the twist, pinning it right on top of the other rolled section. 

10. MY HAIR IS TOO FREAKING LONG FOR THIS. That's OK, but it got kind of weird at this point. I twisted up the ends of the smaller twist, so that they wouldn't be poking out all crazy from beneath the larger roll. I then tucked the nub behind and a bit under the larger roll and, of course, pinned. 

11. I took the lengths left over from the first, larger roll, and threaded them through the smaller roll that had snaked around my nape. I just kept wrapping the lengths around and through the roll until it was all put up, pinning the ends (in hand) beneath the smaller roll on the side above my ear. 

Oops, some of the ends are kind of sticking out still on my right. Oh well! This is what it looks like all said and done. I used about 16 bobby pins total.

Beyoncé's arm poses are way harder to nail than she makes it look. I figured out, too late, that it's all about bringing your elbows FORWARD toward the camera, and not away. Then you won't look like you have disproportionately small baby arms in every photo. 

You can loosen the rolls to add more volume around your face. Just gently pull apart a bit with your fingers. 

Ta da! So cute if you ignore my terribly awkward apendages!

My neck felt so naked--it was liberating! I should mention that another great thing about this updo is that when you take it down, your hair will be left in some amazingly natural-looking tight little ringlets. Also, thank you Washington state for having amazing vintage. My new favorite top was $10. 

Going shopping in a wholesale beauty supply store is like trying to buy weekend liquor on a Friday night while still in high school: everything you want is right at your fingertips, but you probably won't be able to get wasted on any of it because YOU DON'T HAVE THE PROPER CREDENTIALS TO PURCHASE ANYTHING. 

Actually, I've had much better luck buying liquor underage than I have trying to buy things at a beauty supply store. Because that one private school kid with the laminating machine doesn't know jack about making a fake beauty license, but he CAN make you a 22-year-old named Isabel from Louisiana. (What? Like you didn't also choose a sexier, slightly foreign-sounding name for your first fake?)

"Elsa Savage" is gonna TEAR IT UP at the apparently ever-so-legendary Bronx beauty supplies just as soon as I get this document figured out in Photoshop. Just playing! That's ill-e-gal. And potentially dangerous--I could seriously eff up somebody's hair with professional bleach or lose hella brain cells to nail glue. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN GET THOSE THINGS WITHOUT A LICENSE. 

Oh wait, you can. Sally Beauty Supply sells all the potentially dangerous beauty product you'd ever want or need to unlicensed everybodies--at totally reasonable prices, but a bit higher than a "wholesale" retailer. Why are licenses required again? I'm totally down and understand if they're to keep costs low for working professionals, but any claim that they're for the public's safety is a bit bogus, no? 

HOWEVER, just as we all had that one friend of a friend who could hook it up with the fake in high school, we all have that one friend who's a licensed beauty professional that can take you shopping for wholesale supplies. At least I do. In Austin it was my friend Sam, and thank God for Claire in NYC, who took me to Hi-Fashion Beauty Supplies in Queens. 

It was amazing. We're talking rich-bitch brand nail polish for $3. AISLES of it. And glitter, and lashes, and waxes, and cotton pads, balls, swabs, and tear-apart rolls, and chemicals--so many chemicals. I could probably cook up lots of DIY meth as a nice side project to my fake ID business. I'd do it up all cute with the packaging and stuff, people will be all, "You should totally sell on Etsy!" 

What I really wanted, though, was one of those acrylic wall-mounted nail polish organizers. I'd been perusing them online, but spending $40 on something that isn't instantly gratifying is the thing that I hate doing most in life. I figured I'd be able to get it for way cheaper at the wholesaler. 

Wrong. It was also $40. Or at least that's what they decided they'd charge me--nothing had a price tag. But I saved on shipping and got that instant gratification that I crave, so all in all I'm pretty pleased with myself.

I even INSTALLED the damn thing myself. Dude was all, "Baby! You did it!" Come on, it's, like, four screws. I use more upper body strength giving myself a blowout--don't patronize me. Unless your penis has a Phillips head, I'm probably better at mounting things on walls than you are, B. Although, my disco ball still needs to be drilled into the ceiling! Love you!

Below are the three top reasons why I'm really happy with my purchase.

1. IT'S ART

Well, like a collection of small arts into one big art. **leans forward, cups hand around the back of ear** Excuse me? Did somebody just say that nail polish is not art? I like to refer to 2009 as Chanel's "Jade Period," and argue that it's the reason that everything that's considered aesthetically pleasing since that polish's release comes in some form of mint green. Cupcakes, candies, bridesmaids dresses, scooters. What else do women with eyes like nowadays? 

2. ACRYLIC IS IN 

We've seen it in shoes, handbags, jewelry, tables, chairs, glasses frames. I'm convinced that clear acrylic/lucite/glass will always be sexy. It's CLEAR. It implies nakedness, zero mystery. What you see is what you get. I like my shelving and beauty product storage to reflect that, know what I mean?

3. IT'S NOT JUST FOR NAIL POLISH!

I have at least two human's-worth of junk in my apartment at all times. People are always leaving stuff at my place; certain people basically live over here, so counter, floor, and drawer space is limited. I've lost REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS like pins and house keys recently, so it would be nice to keep them somewhere separate where they wouldn't be knocked onto the floor or into the abyss of my eyeshadow drawer. 

Also, film rolls fit nicely in these shelves if you're into that sort of thing. I used to have hobbies... before this job. Now I have 94 bottles of nail polish on my wall. 

4. IT'S NOT JUST FOR NAIL POLISH AND SUNGLASSES AND KEYS AND STUFF YOU LOSE!

It's also a perfect drying rack for thongs. I NEVER have enough corners and knobs to hang my freshly washed panties on. Just loop the waistband over the top of your favorite frosty pink Orly or grey Chiate polish and watch as your 3-for-$30's dry instantly over the next few hours. (Yes, I've graduated from the 5-for-$25 variety. I've finally become the pre-adult I've always wanted to be.)

K, the anticipation is killing me. What was the name on your first fake ID? And what's the most illegal document you've forged? 

The banana leaf print is, like, THE print of summer 2013. It's on jeans, dresses, suits, scarves, shoes, hats, shirts, skirts, carpets, pillows, now NAILS. But the most glamorous use of the print has to be on the walls of the Beverly Hills Hotel, which is perfectly fitting as it was designed especially for the hotel back in 1942. 

You can find the original "Martinique" print for purchase online, in wallpaper and fabrics alike. But, like, why not nails? Well, you probably can find some sort of nail appliqué with the print somewhere online, it's THE INTERNET where anything is possible. But more impressive than correctly applying nail wraps (which is quite an achievement in and of itself), is free-handing the design on your own nails. 

Shhh, shhhh, my babies. It's easy, I promise. Let's do this. 

You'll need a white polish, along with three striper shades: one in white, along with two contrasting greens.

STEP 1

Start by painting your nails white. I used two coats of Butter London's "Cotton Buds"--a stark, true white. 

STEP 2

Now to start creating the leaves. 

They're basically two curved strokes filled in. Above are a variety of shapes to use as you paint a small collage of 5-7 leaves of varying sizes on each nail. It's okay to see brushstrokes and if some of the white peaks through- it'll add detail to the look of the leaves. I'm using Art Club's "Emerald" for the darker green, and Color Madnic's "Green" as the lighter shade. 

STEP 3

Add detail to the leaves by painting a stem down the center of each with the opposite green. Use your white striper (Art Club's White Duo Pen) to create little tears in the leaves by painting a teeny notch at their sides. I'm just now realizing that this isn't only a striper brush, but that it also has a itty needle-point pen on top, which works way better for creating the tears. The white notches might protrude a bit, but once the topcoat is applied they'll melt down as part of the design. 

STEP 4

Apply a super shiny topcoat. I don't know WHY I've waited so long to try Seche Vite, but Claire encouraged me to pick up a bottle during our last shopping trip and I'm glad she did. It's AMAZING. Thick, super shiny, and quick drying. This is one of those products that I straight-up command that you go out and purchase. 

Be sure to load the brush with a healthy amount of polish and spread it on the nail quickly so that it doesn't thicken up during application. I'm making it sound much harder to use than it is, even if you apply it unevenly, it'll spread and dry beautifully. 

Here's a video of me finishing off my last nail--the smallest one--WITH MY LEFT HAND. 

 As always, send me photos if you try this look yourself! 

So we've all heard about the Marc Jacobs makeup collection by now, right? You might have even scored some at Sephora--the products became available for purchase on August 9th. At xoVain we were all so very delighted to receive a generous package of samples a couple of weeks prior. We arranged a few of the products neatly on the windowsill and Instagrammed all about it to make everybody jealous. 

Not that I'm accusing others at the office of being the opposite, but I've learned to stop caring too much about the free samples. I have too much stuff; if you'll remember, I can't even give it away. It's a space issue--a lack of space issue. And although the Marc Jacobs line achieved legend status at the first glimpse of a singular clear polish at his last runway show--effectively "ending" nail art (for a few days, at least)--I wasn't about to lose it and claw my way around the office scrapping for samples. 

I did want to use a few at some point, though, maybe for a "Look To Try This Weekend" post. But by the time I arrived at the offices the morning after receiving the products, somebody had taken liberties with the makeup. Not only were products MISSING, but a lonely eyeshadow palette lay on the floor- one of the pressed powder circles CRACKED and crumbled. WTF, indeed. 

It was quite the scandal, and people were pissed. We'd never know the joy of Genius Gel, or experience the flush of the Shameless blush. I was left with a nail polish in "Oui!"--a magenta violet--a glossy lipstick in "Seduce Me"--a raspberry pink--and the poor eyeshadow palette with the eggshell shade smashed, alongside a shimmery black and grayish taupe. 

I tried them all on at once, because I'm a 13-year-old girl who just discovered makeup and can't edit. 

The smell of the Lovemarc Lip Gel is delicious, like a really buttery vanilla cake. It contains the oil-of-the-moment: monoi butter, making for an ultra-creamy consistency that's not at all waxy. The finish is glossy, and I found that the product had enough "stick" not to smudge messily, but not enough to glue stray hairs to your lips. 

What's there really to say about the eyeshadows and nail polish other than that they worked as well as you'd expect a high-end eyeshadow or nail polish to work? 

The Style Eye-Con shadows applied easily. I got the coverage and pigment that I expect from seeing the powder in pressed form. (Isn't it such a let down when a beautiful-looking dark show applies with the lightness of a pastel and a pastel shadow doesn't even show up on your lid?) They blended easily as well. 

I used two coats of the Enamored Hi-Shine Nail Lacquer to get to the bright magenta shade, as it looks in the bottle. It was thick enough for good coverage, but thin enough to apply smoothly. The 24 shades in the collection are GORGEOUS and are right on with what I've been expecting for fall. They're bright but have depth, with lots of iridescence and metallic options, like they'd been copped from a moody high school junior, class of 1997. I need to have "Blue Velvet" and "Ultraviolet" in my life. 

So that's great and all, but the question still remains: WHAT OF THE OTHER SAMPLES? Who could have stooped to such lows as to deny their work "friends" the joy that is Marc Jacobs Beauty?

Was it the cleaning crew? They might have accidentally knocked the palette on the ground while tidying up. Sure, could be... But that doesn't explain the MISSING products. Whoever did this to the powder took hostages, and who knows what's become of them now. 

Was it MADELINE who smashed the palette? With her high heel as she made off with the rest? Or was it Olivia?

Or maybe it was JANE, with a revolver, in the entryway!

Or EMILY, in the lounge, with a BLOWTORCH? 

Or was it me all along? No! It totally wasn't. Who do you YOU think did it?

Let me start by saying that I'm really glad that this isn't a sponsored post. Because I want you to fully believe me when I say that you should buy this product, and I wouldn't want a L'Oreal banner at the top or bottom to make me seem biased. I'm totally not! This was a genuine beauty discovery that happened organically in the fluorescently glowing aisles of a Walgreens. 

Secondly: gloss stains! Educate yourself! It shines like a gloss but will stain your lips like mom's spaghetti sauce. Also, I start every day with the first twelve lines of Eminem's "Lose Yourself," which encourages me to take full advantage of the day ahead because you really do only get one shot.  

But not all gloss stains are created equal. And the most unequalest of them all, the private school kid born to the rich and famous parents, is Colour Riche Caresse Aqua Lacquer Lipgloss. Its rich and famous parents are L'Oreal, and I think that Cat so astutely pointed out in one of her throwback xoJane posts that L'Oreal owns most beauty things and has tons of science and research and money to make even their drugstore options mindnumbingly amazing. 

The applicator is petal-shaped and feels all plush and sexy against your lips. The pointed end makes for pre-CISE application at the corners of your mouth and cupid's bow if you're into that. 

The product itself is really wet. Right when you apply it has a lot of slip--which I'm pretty sure is a hair term, but roll with me--it's all watery feeling like a straight-up stain. As it sits on your lips and melts in, it becomes slightly stickier, but won't hold stray hairs hostage. The gloss will hang around all glossy-like for a bit (I can't give you a realistic time estimation, I have no idea what you'd be doing with your lips after application), before fading to a moisturized stain that will last all day. Seriously, it feels like I'm wearing lip balm right now, but my lips are all sexy and purple, and maintain a bit of shine even after eating lunch. I applied the gloss over an hour ago. 

See the reflection? That's gloss. 

I wiped the swatches off with a tissue--they'd only been on my arm for less than a minute--and they had already stained my skin! I had to photograph as evidence of their staining power! IT WAS ALL VERY EXCITING. Obviously the darker shades leave a more noticeable stain. 

And, silly me, I tried to shoot six different shades in one sitting. Six different lip stains. I'm a moron! Not even castor oil will melt the color off! Regardless, enjoy the somewhat true-to-color selfies below. I'm really glad that I get to feature this dress multiple time on the site. Everybody--everybody on earth--genuinely despises it, but it's my favorite. Every day is prom, 1989! One shot, remember??

"Endless Red," is my favorite and makes me look crazy hot when it fades to a stain. I smeared it on while walking to this restaurant on a SEXY DATE the other night, and dude told me that my laugh is, "like a little bell," which has nothing to do with the lip gloss but seriously how sweet is that? But the idea I was trying to get across is that you can smush it on without a mirror and it will still look really perfect. 

Have you tried this stuff and if not, what's the best $10 you've ever spent?

Without getting into too much detail, last night sucked. And unlike when I was living in Texas doing nothing but perfecting my bathing routine and listening to records and sewing and drawing and ladida-ing, I didn't look super-sexy when morning rolled around. 

No, because now I live on an overdeveloped island and follow rats to and from work each day, eating free pretzels out of a tub for most meals, and sharing with up to five other people a bathroom that hasn't had any sort of repair work done since the mid-'90s. Texas sounds pretty freaking great at the moment, but alas, here I find myself with under-eye bags, and they're not even the cute kind. 

And thus an article is born.

Really, this is the perfect opportunity to show some graphic before-and-after-type junk that you sickos love. ENJOY MY PAIN, YOU ANIMALS. 

By pure coincidence, I had a box of Karuna eye masks at my apartment. I'd used them before out of sheer boredom, not really studying the results and definitely not documenting them for that matter. Now was the time. 

The little masks are wet with the firming and de-puffing elixir. Just peel off the backings and place around your eyes. Leave on for 10 to 20 minutes and remove, dabbing the excess liquid into your skin.

I have very sensitive skin, around my eyes especially. About half of all eye products I've tried cause me to break out in a bumpy rash, or at the very least sting uncomfortably. Luckily that wasn't the case with these. They weren't particularly refreshing or cooling, but the de-puffing and dark-circle reduction were all I really cared about. 

I could see a slight change, but the proof is in the side-by-sides at the end of the scroll. These don't relieve the achy dryness that comes with crying and stuff, but I did find the skin around my eyes felt smoother and more moisturized. I don't have any wrinkles to speak of, but I could see how this product has the potential to plump up skin's moisture levels to reduce their appearance. I also trimmed my brows at some point, those are the hairs you see on my face.

Because cold compresses are a go-to for reducing swelling, and since I didn't have the foresight to refrigerate the eye masks, I let a couple of spoons cool off in the freezer for a few minutes and smushed them into my eye sockets. 

The spoons didn't stay cold for long, but I think they definitely help reduce the puffiness even further. 

I then moisturized and put some makeup on and made you a little collage:

I think filling in and combing my brows made a huge difference in making my eyes seem more alert and like I cared about anything anymore. 

I didn't even use under eye concealer or apply foundation to the area directly below my eyes. I like the look of bags and dark circles, but not quite as dramatic as they were when I woke up. The only makeup I used on my eyes was a teeny dabbing of Sensual Skin Enhancer just at the inner corners to brighten more than to conceal. 

Which step do you think made the biggest difference? Shall I jump on the rich-people-using-Kickstarter train to fund my plane ticket and do you plan to donate? 

I made an impulse buy at the nail supply shop a couple of weeks ago. I'm trying to put it out there in the universe that this stuff is "mood polish," but in reality it just changes color in the sunlight. Also the hang tag really spoke to me. 

We took our laptops in Jane's office and I gave Emily and Olivia manicures. Because I remember her mentioning in a phone post recently that she was delighted to find nail clippings under her desk. 

The indoor shade is a neon yellow, a bit iridescent. Olivia thinks it'll look really great with her all black outfit for when we GO TO SEE CIARA TONIGHT BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO SEE CIARA TONIGHT AND WATCH HER MIME SEX ON STAGE I CAN'T WAIT. 

The last thing we want to do is exert ourselves, so Olivia stuck her hand out the window to try to get the color to change. No such luck, it's overcast. 

I convinced young Olive, by bribing her with cigarettes, to trek across the street into the one sliver of direct sunlight across the street. 

And then it happened: the neon yellow changed to a nice shade of goldenrod. The shade is called "Electric Firefly" if you've been wooed into purchasing by the most enthralling article I've ever written. 

Does mood polish exist? Do we even exist? 

I'm from the school of NGAF when it comes to "all-natural" or better-for-you makeup. In fact, I don't even care if it claims it's better for your skin. Acne-fighting concealers? It could give my zit cancer for all I care if it covers well enough and long enough to make me look hot for as long as I need to look hot for, feel me? 

But recently, more and more makeup brands have been touting themselves as using "food grade" ingredients. To me, the ignorant consumer, I accept that that means that it's good enough to eat. Right? 

A more responsible beauty site would tell you that just because something is "food grade" doesn't mean that you should eat it. But you, my friend, have landed on xoVain.com, where Jane Pratt plucks a 22-year-old space cadet out of obscurity and deems her "beauty editor." It's all just words, anyway. 

Yeah, so I'm going to eat this makeup. Here's what I'm working with:

I tasted them all, and found a clear winner as far as palatability...

But the real question is: did I die? Nope! Totally fine. 

What are your favorite makeup products to snack on? 

Oh, and all photos are by former intern Brayden Olson. 

Happy Tuesday everyone! Here are more zits:

I painted my nails Saturday for the food article. They look amazing thanks to my recent Seche Vite acquisition. But I chipped the middle one on the inside of a laundry machine like a freaking commoner. UGH. 

I'm dying for a haircut. I want Patti Hansen's all-over-the-place bangs. I like the idea of bangs but I don't like the idea of having to ever do anything to them. 

I'm off to buy more crop tops in a second, but first, my feet. 

These shoes are amazing. The soles are like thick rubber tires and I think their overall ugliness really makes people angry. 

And I don't really get some people's concern over my destroying of cosmetics, but the fact of the matter is that we have too many beauty products to know what to do with. A couple of commenters made a good point: give them away!

So comment with a photo of your current nail situation and I'll send a random U.S. winner (Chosen by a robot. Ugh, I know sorry for the U.S. only BOLOGNA.) these four Inococo nail appliqués. 

I've had requests from commenters, but it's hard for me to write up a post about how I cover my current activity--f#@% it, acne--as I change up my routine day by day. Maybe it's from experimenting with different visual art mediums since I was a kid, or my perfectionist tendencies, but I'm not going to settle for a one-stop-shop concealer. And, of course, there's the fact that that product simply doesn't exist. 

Not only should a concealer match your skin tone and cover what's beneath, but it needs to camouflage. Right, OK, let's talk camouflage! There's the run-of-the-mill print stuff that's been copped into mainstream fashion since 'nam (love your veterans, and not just through buying up all the interesting stuff to pair with leather pants and canvas duffles at the Army Navy Store), and then there's the serious hunters that dress up like a bush and submerge themselves in swamp water to really blend into their surroundings. They're the ones with the sexiest collection of dead ducks, if you're into dead duck collections. 

You want your concealer to help you snag the whatever the "sexiest dead duck collection" means to you (I can't decide if this analogy is working), and that means that it needs to step up and really camouflage. It needs to match its surroundings, including texture and sheen. 

My skin is so terribly moody, I can never tell if it'll be oily, dry, flaky, dull, or some head-aching combination of those things. Plus, as my acne heals, I need to adjust the way I cover. Foundation is great if my skin is behaving and just needs overall enhancing, but when I have mounds and spots all over, I like to skip it and concentrate on concealing.

That way my skin can breathe--the less products I can go without on my face all day, the better. That includes primer, I'm absolutely not a believer in primer on irritable and broken out skin.

That's why it's best to have options when it comes to concealing products and not put all my eggs in one basket by relying on one. I like to mix a few depending on how my skin is feeling and looking that day.

OMG I HAVE PAINFUL MOUNDS ALL OVER

This is me right now. I can't really classify my face as oily or dry, but I have several zits in various stages of erupting and healing. I used an oil-free and SPF-free moisturizer to soothe and prep my skin after cleansing, because my skin can't take anything that will leave a residue--not even a healthy, dewy, glowy one.

I start like I always do for zit concealing, with my Sensual Skin Enhancer. 

I dab some on the back of my hand with a small paint brush. It's a great base product for concealing because it's so sticky. It has full coverage, staying power, and the ability to get into and cover awkward scabbies, but its only drawback is that it doesn't blend without the help of an emollient. If I'm using it on a freshly moisturized face for light coverage and highlighting, that's great! But for concealing, I mix with a less viscous foundation. 

Since I'm not looking to add moisture and want a matte finish to match the rest of my not-exactly-glowy skin without having to cake on powder, I'm using L'Oréal's Magic Nude Liquid Powder Foundation. It truly does dry matte like a powder--it's pretty amazing. 

I mix the two products in the middle with the brush, so that I have a little extra on either side if I need to add more stickiness or more liquid foundation as I apply. Notice how the shades are slightly different--the use of both makes for more natural coverage. 

Apply the concealer on the spot first with the brush, then press it and blend slightly with your finger.

After that I use a pointed blending sponge, like Sephora's The Perfectionist Makeup Sponge, moistened ever so slightly with a bit of Mario Badescu's Oil Free Moisturizer SPF 30 or Maybelline's Dream Fresh BB Cream if I need a little more color (if I got a little of sun over the weekend or whatever--adapt!), and dab the area until blended. 

OMG MY SKIN IS IMPROVING BUT I'M STILL COVERED IN SCARS AND SCABS

At this point my skin is hopefully done freaking out with breakouts and is on its way to clearing and healing. I want that dewy, light-reflective skin that healthy chicks with lots of omegas in their diets have.

I like to use an SPF oil-free moisturizer to get there if my skin is looking dull or flaky. (Well, it shouldn't be flaky at this point. You should always exfoliate flakes away before applying makeup.) The SPF ingredients leave you with a shinier finish, even if the product is oil-free. 

I'll apply a light coating of BB cream or the Badescu moisturizer all over to prep my skin before concealer- but instead of applying directly, I rub the product allover my palms, and then press onto my face, letting my skin absorb the thin layer from my palms. This will leave you more sticky and dewy than slick, which is exactly how you want your skin before you go in with concealer. 

To cover scabs and scars, I mix Dermablend Smooth Indulgence Foundation with the Sensual Skin Enhancer the same way I did with the Magic Nude. This will make for a creamier, dewier paste to match your dewier skin, but has the same staying power, coverage, and blendability as the other combo. 

Apply and blend using the brush, finger, sponge method.

I don't like to set concealer with a powder, because that defeats the whole purpose of having it match the texture and sheen of the rest of your face. Plus it can look cakey, and even worse than having a couple of spots is having a face of cakey makeup. For real, I never judge a chick for zits--in fact, I find it endearing--but I don't want to be friends with cake faces. And to be honest, I feel like dusting powder on makes the zit look more pronounced or even removed some of the coverage I already applied, and often found myself going back in with more concealer on top of the powder. NOT PRODUCTIVE. 

The above combo should get you lasting coverage, but if you find yourself needing to touch up throughout the day, YSL's Touche Eclat is the answer. 

It's really thin and has a highlighting effect. It'll blend perfectly and sort of reactivate the concealer that you applied that morning. Just dab on with the brush and tap in with your ring finger. 

And to distract from any mounds, scabs, or scars, believe me when I say that it's all about having great brows. 

I remember in high school always wearing lots of eye makeup to draw attention away from my bad skin, but when you want a fresh-looking face, skip heavy or dark eye makeup and a bright lip and concentrate on perfect brows. 

What weird concealing tricks do you have? And definitely let me know if you want to argue about the existence of this all-in-one concealing product. 

Last week, my friend casually mentioned this weird vinegar trick that makes her manicures last longer. I usually roll my eyes at this kind of thing; it sounded like an urban legend on par with toilet alligators. But I felt, as a beauty writer, that it was my responsibility to try it out. 

Basically you take white vinegar, swab it on your naked nails, let air dry, and then apply polish. 

I did this on Saturday, and with the exception of a freak accident with my left middle finger involving a laundry machine, my manicure lasted way longer than normal. This morning, five full days later, my solid red (Essie's "First Dance") nails could totally pass as belonging to a chick that has her life together and not one that uses her nails as a screwdriver trying to replace a lightbulb in her vanity mirror. 

Despite using professional-manicurist-recommended base and top coats, my nails had never made it that long. Remember my Beverly Hills Hotel wallpaper swag nails? I had about half the banana leaves still clinging for dear life on my fingers by day three. 

The theory is that the vinegar dries out the nail surface, removing any moisture or residue that could come between the nail and the base coat, making the first coat adhere better and thus extending the life of your manicure. 

Today, after using the vinegar and the Rejuvacote, I'm going with FACE Stockholm's holographic polish in Leto. (I could definitely tell a difference in my nail strength after using the Rejuvacote for the past few weeks. They were still in the final recovery stages after the fiberglass extensions, and they're finally back to being super tough and long.) 

You can definitely get away with one coat of this, but I like the more opaque look of two. 

I'll update you in a week, assuming I don't get bored with the polish or experience some other freak accident. If you try this, let me know and we'll compare results. It worked the first time around, but I'm determined to find out if it was by some weird coincidence and if the trick is too good to be true. 

Maybe this belongs in the "do this don't" realm, but I actually really love the look of shadowing the brow bone. And not with some white-washing highlighting shade. I'm thinking dark taupes, blues, or sparkly-oil-slick green. 

STEP 1

Start with your regular foundation or concealer routine, and any contouring-type stuff.

STEP 2

Brush a dark shadow starting at the crease up into the brows. Yes, into the brows. I used to love wearing glitter in my eyebrows in college; I was the prettiest and coolest girl at the jam space. I was the only girl ever at the jam space... 

Urban Decay really does do the best shimmer eyeshadows.

STEP 3

I'm obsessed with RMS after getting my first taste. (Ha...) 

Their Lip2Cheek pastes melt so easily into the skin, so they're hard to make not look like a natural flush. 

STEP 4

Another product I've been obsessing over is Hourglass Aura Sheer Lip Stain. It's a slightly thinner and less glossy version of my other dream lip stain. The "Aura Flush" shade is like a neon version of just-brushed-my-teeth lips. You know what I'm talking about? Do your lips turn the perfect shade of pink after brushing?

It's a super-easy look to recreate but looks so strange and amazing. Maybe even a little scary, so try to smile a lot. 

It's been brought to my attention that I am the skankiest dresser in the office, which, OK:

This is pretty tame and put-together for me--notice how I balanced the short length with close-toed shoes. Olivia keeps saying that I need to dress more professionally, but I own three button-downs: one is a vintage embroidered rodeo shirt, one is an oversized plaid check that I tie around my waist or wear all the way buttoned up to the top like a skater bro that had to go to his dad's second wedding, and the last is black and completely sheer, though I always wear a bra underneath for more coverage. I guess it doesn't help that those are also completely sheer, because two sheers does not an opaque make. 

I get mixed messages, though, because while Olivia's snapping my thong strap being like, "OMG YOUR DRESS IS MISSING A SIDE," Jane's like, "Oh hi, cutie! Love the dress!" Plus Olivia COPIES ME. I met her outside her place before going to see Ciara at this CoverGirl event the other night (amazing), and she was wearing high-waisted, skin-tight black pants with a crop top and some platforms. I was also wearing high-waisted, skin-tight black pants with a crop top and some platforms and I'm proud to announce that we are officially the skankiest in the NYC beauty editorial scene. 

ANYWAY. Take a photo of your skanky (or professional, bleh BORING) work outfit, or part of it, and include in the comments for a chance to win*...

Does anybody remember Salma Hayek (Nuance is her brand) in From Dusk Till Dawn? EASILY one of my favorite movies of all time, and she was super-skanky in it. And George Clooney and Quentin and Juliette... ugh Robert Rodriguez is my favorite. I've watched the behind-the-scenes like four times now.

Oh and congrats to DANA HAMILTON! Her "mint green polish with a glittery gold top coat" won the Incoco nail appliqués! Basically what I learned from the comments of that post is that our readers are really attractive, own pretty finger jewels, and have mixed proficiency in nail care and upkeep. 

*Remember, you must be 18 or older and live within the U.S. 

Thank you to those who entered the giveaway! These have been so fun on our end because we love getting to see our readers and hear about what's going on in your lives at the moment.

I was stoked on the response to the first "selfie of the day" post, and especially loved how the comments section of the second one was totally jacked by you guys into a "I'M REALLY FREAKING ATTRACTIVE! NO WAIT YOU'RE REALLY FREAKING ATTRACTIVE," virtual make out session. I mean, dang, you guys are really attractive. And that Vivids lipstick on serif999 AND derekgrl? Amazing. Also: we have a weather woman reader?! And not one, but TWO cat heads for the win.

And we absolutely stalked you guys on Instagram and Twitter for the huge Lush giveaway. I'm glad the winner is chosen at random by a robot, because I wouldn't have been able to. Also what would the criteria even be?? The least awkward bathtub selfie? No, those are always awkward. 

Without further ado, congratulations to melchismi! You'll be receiving my and Hannah's top twelve most favorite Lush products ever. WOOP! 

Today I'm wearing a no-label polyester vintage dress that I bought the same day I bought the Betsey Johnson dress in the last post, both from Buffalo Exchange in Austin. I used to get a ton of vintage there, the one in Dallas has THE BEST vintage, though. Try not to buy all of it, I'll be back in December. 

I haven't shampooed my hair in five days and am going through really angry withdrawals after my roommate apparently threw out a ton of my products. We're talking Clarins, Davines, Badescu, and some amazing turnip-scented scrub that Faz sent from Singapore. Yep, sucks. I'm coping with high pigtails, as my hair is too dirty with the absence of my Momo shampoo for anything else. 

I feel like a clown. A hot clown, but a clown nonetheless. If I knew how, I'd make a video of me cartwheeling into the frame holding a sign announcing the winner of the skanky eyeshadow tulip from the last giveaway, but instead I'll just type it here: congrats, derekgrl! You'll be receiving some shimmery, bronze-y shadows which will probably look just as amazing as that purple lipstick. 

Today I'm reluctantly giving away this amazing Bikini & Body Wax Kit from Completely Bare, the hair removal experts. I LOVE at-home waxes, and if it wouldn't be THFV to show me naked from the waist down, contorting on the floor in front of my makeup mirror, I'd write up a little tutorial. Alas, you'll have to figure this out yourself... shouldn't be too hard what with the directions inside. 

Show me your current hair situation in the comments, and live in the US and be over 18, and I'll have our associate, the robot, randomly choose a winner.